The 21st Century of Compatibility

When we sit down and think about the term "compatibility", we seem to almost always associate it with a description of relationships, whether human, technological, or inanimate; although, the definition itself stands out to me as the perfect envelopment of the word: "the capability of existing or living together in harmony".

So many of us are overwhelmed by advice or suggestions from uninvolved parties about our dating lives, how do you really know who to listen to, or when you've reached your harmony?

First, when in doubt, go with your gut. There's a difference between giving someone the benefit of the doubt, and going with what your instinct is telling you. Sometimes certain peoples' personalities don't mesh well with one another, and that's okay! Every person you meet, converse with, or date is exciting because you're gaining experience in the most important aspect of compatibility: COMMUNICATION.

Okay, so let's say you've gone with your gut, and you've met a wonderful man or woman, but there are still some red flags you're a bit apprehensive about; don't give up yet! What most people don't realize is that there are many facets to compatibility. It isn't just a black or a white area, but is mostly comprised of beautiful grays, which we in the dating industry call compromise!

For instance, you meet someone you have a lot in common with personality-wise, but their personal choice of wardrobe is a little different than your taste in style; look at it from a positive light and not as a deal breaker, and make the suggestion through getting him or her something you'd love to see them in (keeping it tasteful, of course). Now, I'm not suggesting that you try and change them completely, because we all honestly know that never works out for anyone's benefit, but certain things that are thought to be incompatibilities are sometimes just a superficial distraction from really getting to know someone potentially wonderful for you.

Second, what are considered potential deal breakers anyways? Sometimes the most mundane things can give way to incompatibility, but they don't always apply to everyone's relationship. Some people can successfully write off their significant others' quirks or differences, referencing the popular phrase of "opposites attract!", but most of the time we focus on finding someone who will actually complement our personalities and lifestyles. There are generically important things people can disagree on such as religion, and politics, yet still have a successful relationship, but when it comes to having a thriving future, the focus needs to be on whether or not you have the same thoughts on life goals, family, commitment, and/or values.

Although it seems easy to sum up "compatibility" in a couple of paragraphs, the sky's the limit on personal experiences relating to or contradicting the normal known idea of happiness and harmony, but when it all boils down to connection, and compromise, listen to your heart and your head, and deep down you'll know which fish is a keeper, and which fish are better thrown back for another fisherman's delight.

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